A Bright Light shines no more.

I had fully intended to write the next episode of 'Exploring the Kingdom Gospel" this week, but then something unexpected happened. Late Wednesday night a man walked out of a local bar, got into his truck and drove off. Because he was drunk, instead of taking the on-ramp to Hwy 6 south, he took the off ramp and wound up driving south in the North-bound lanes. A few minutes later he drove head on into a car, killing the driver. That driver was a wonderful young woman named Anna Graham.

I first met Anna about a year ago. Her uncle asked me to work on a production of "Death of a Salesman" that he was directing for Guelph Little Theatre. It was one of the best experiences of my life, and Anna was no small part of it. Anna, along with Anthony "Pooch" Brown, was designing the lighting for the production. You didn't have to watch her work for long to know that this woman not only knew what she was doing, she enjoyed it immensely and had a real gift for creativity. You also didn't have to watch for long to see just how proud her uncle, my friend Lloyd, was of her.

And now she's gone!

As you scan the status lines of her friends on Facebook you can see the range of emotions. One person "is sad", another "is numb", one more is "trying to come to terms." The most vocal of the lot is "Really mad....and hurt...and not understanding why this life has to be so f**kin unfair!!!" (the asterisks are mine). I know how he feels. I felt the same way when James died a year ago (I wrote about it here.). But somehow, I don't feel the same pain about Anna, not the same way.

I know part of the reason is the simple fact Anna and I weren't as close as James and I were. It's no reflection on Anna; we worked together on 'Salesman' and then went our separate ways, her to her circle and me to mine. Most of the pain I feel is for her uncle Lloyd. Him I do consider a friend, and as both actor/director and human being, have a great deal of respect and admiration for the man. I can only imagine what he is going through. He's never far from my thoughts.

But the biggest difference in this case is there was some good to be found in Jame's death. He had been sick for a long time. In many ways his passing was a relief. His suffering is over and the spiritual part of me can at least begin to wrap my head around the idea that God decided it was for the best.

But in Anna's case this logic does not apply. The hard cold fact is Anna died because someone couldn't find anything better to do with a Wednesday night than get drunk watching naked women dance on stage. And even that might not matter except he then compounded things by making the selfish decision to drive himself home, and no one, not the bartender, not the servers, not his friends, nor the big burly guy at the door took the necessary steps to stop him. Anna is gone because human beings made selfish and wrong choices! Plain and simple!

Do I sound like I'm ranting? Of course I am. I'm angry! Because the simple fact is THIS IS WHY WE NEED GOD!!

Every day on the news and in other media I hear people trying to tell me how outmoded a concept God is. How human beings don't need some invisible being in the sky, they are quite capable of conducting their own affairs. Morality is a flexible concept and changes from day to day, what's good for you is bad for me, etc. etc. etc. Religion is no longer required because we can run our own affairs quite nicely thank you.

But the fact is, human beings, generally speaking, as a species, are no where near smart enough, wise enough, deep enough or insightful enough to be their own moral compass. When push comes to shove each of us, left to our own devices, will make a decision based not on the common good, or the welfare of others, but on our selfish wants and desires. The only hope for us is to have a moral guide that comes from outside of ourselves. A culture of accountability which holds us personally responsible for our actions on a level above and beyond the human trappings of law and order. This is the role religion fulfills.

And before you get started on the evils of organized religion, let me say it's not the institution of religion I'm talking about. Rather it is the ground level, day-to-day belief that God is watching, and that someday we will have to face Him one-on-one and He will say, "Explain it to me again why you were a complete and total moron" - or words to that effect. For thousands of years the love for and fear of God has kept human beings from acting out of selfish motives and inspired us to think twice before we act, even if the only reason is the slim possibility that if we don't behave we might find ourselves spending eternity roasting on a spit over a lava-fed barbecue. Though personally I have always suspected the lake of fire in Revelation is a metaphor for something far worse.

I know - I'm preaching. I'm taking advantage of Anna's death to get on my soapbox and call down fire and brimstone. Well, I make no apologies for it. I'm not trying to be comforting, I'm trying to stop this kind of thing from happening the only way I know how.

I know full well that if it were not for the work of God in my life, I could well be that same moron getting drunk watching naked women dance. Or possibly something much worse. This is why Jesus came to earth as a child and sacrificed himself as a man - to save us from ourselves. To give us an option other than hopelessly trying to be our own moral compass. He is God's response to our insistance on doing things our own way.

The hard cold fact is that this world is the way it is because human beings, collectively and individually, have said "Sorry God, we don't need you any more. We are totally capable of making our own decisions. We are the captains of our own fates. Thanks for all your help in the past - we'll take it from here." And like it or not - this fractured, faulty, unfair world we live in is the result. I don't like it either, but that's the way it is.

The good news is this; when we said that, God responded by saying, "Fine. Have it your way. But when it all falls apart, when the unfairness of it all gets to you and you just can't take it any more - please, please, PLEASE! Come crying back to Me and I promise - I WILL HELP YOU GET THROUGH IT!"

Good-bye Anna.

Shalom everyone.